Stay at Home Dads

I just read a great article on stay at home dads in Madison, WI. I was pleased to see such a well-written article on such an important topic.

As anyone who knows me knows, I am a huge advocate of a parent staying home with their children (although I by no means think that all parents should stay home; I recognize that there are many personal and economic factors that drive one into the workforce, either by choice or by necessity). However, as much as I think staying home and raising your children is a worthwhile and commendable pursuit, I loathe the assumption that it must be the mother who stays home, because it just reinforces outdated stereotypes that women are by nature so much more nurturing.

Now, I think, as a general rule, that women are more nurturing. However, I don't think the difference is NEARLY as vast as people make it out to be. For example, on a scale of 1-10, I think that, on average, women are perhaps an 8, while men are a 6. Not that much of a difference, is there? Especially when you take into account that there are going to be women in that average with a nurturing capability of zero, and there are going to be men who are a perfect 10. So to assign such a valuable job as raising one's children to someone just by virtue of them having a vagina is ludicrous.

And the men in this article were all thrilled with their occupational choices. One commented that sometimes, it was hard, because men are "raised" to believe that they need to have a job and provide for their families. I love the way he phrased it, because I don't think there is anything inherent that prevents men from being happy, fulfilled stay at home dads, but rather, it is societal pressure saying they must provide economically, by virtue of their gender. This ignores their individual personalities and talents, often to the detriment of the family.

Of course, one thing that stood out to me was the fact that the women often lamented the fact that they couldn't spend as much time with their children. Now, I would totally feel the same way, but I just thought it was interesting, because I never (or rarely) read articles that describe how men feel about being away from their children for 8 to 10 hours a day. So again, this implies that women must love and have a need to be closer to their children than men do, which is totally not true!

But all in all, it's a great article; check it out!