How Lucky Women Today Are!

As I mentioned in the welcome on this site, I am an avid history buff. Especially the Tudor and Renaissance eras--those are my passions. Currently, I am reading a wonderful book that my husband bought for me, called The Boleyn Inheritance. It centers on the lives of three women: Anne of Cleves (Henry VIII's fourth wife), Katherine Howard (his fifth) and Jane Boleyn (Anne Boleyn's sister in law, who is still an influential person at court). It's a fascinating piece of historical fiction, and I find myself getting swept away by the author's use of words and imagery.

I am now towards the end of the book, where Katherine Howard is being accused of adultery, and, as any Tudor buff knows, it doesn't end well for her (I didn't need the book to tell me that). While I don't condone adultery in the least (on the contrary; I abhor it!), it still strikes me how lucky women today are, in that we don't have the vast inequalities and powerlessness that women years ago suffered. Yes, Katherine committed adultery. Yes, that was wrong. But now she will pay for her life, while the king (and most other kings throughout history) took numerous mistresses and flaunted them openly? Why is that not considered adultery?

Oh, yes, it is because a wife had to remain pure so as to ensure that any child that resulted from the marriage was truly her husband's, while a husband's extramarital affairs had no bearing on the lineage of his progeny. That just opens up a whole other can of worms and makes my blood boil. How demeaning, how insulting, it must have been for those women (and some women today, depending on their part of the world) to be considered nothing more than a brood mare! Her sexual satisfaction, her desire for intimacy didn't matter to the men; all that mattered is that she conceived, preferably a son.

Perhaps this is why some of the stereotypical feminists today seem to scorn and abhor marriage and motherhood, as well as anything else associated with femininity. They perhaps see it as bondage and a perpetual enslavement of women. I, however, see it as a commentary of past times rather than a reflection of the actual states of marriage and motherhood themselves. Marriage, in today's world, is not bondage; it is wonderfully and incredibly freeing. What greater joy can one know, than to have someone in life who loves him or her unconditionally? How wonderful it is to know that someone is there for you, through the peaks and valleys of life, and that they have committed to be there for you through thick and thin. This isn't bondage; this is the greatest freedom one could know!

Likewise, motherhood is one of the greatest joys a woman could experience (and, for the men out there, I believe that fatherhood is equally wonderful). How fulfilling, how amazing, to see a little person (that you helped create) enter this world with a blank slate, but by your teaching and mothering, has emerged into a compassionate, caring member of society! I can honestly think of no greater joy.

I am so blessed that marriage and motherhood, which have existed throughout time, have evolved into a state of equality and freedom for both husband and wife, parents and children. Perhaps some of the stereotypical feminists who decry these institutions should realize that the bondage and enslavement that characterized these roles throughout history are no longer present (for the most part), and when they do exist, the women in developed countries are free to leave and seek respect and love elsewhere. That equality is what feminists like myself advocate; we do not desire to rid society of these institutions; rather, we advocate equality for both parties within these institutions. Only then, when both members of a marriage are valued as complete and equal partners (and valued as equal human beings, deserving of dignity and respect) can society truly advance.