The Second Shift Phenomenon

I received the following comment a couple days ago, and I thought it was interesting. I wrote a post back in December about how a man expected his wife to both raise their young children, and keep the house clean. I argued that this is just another exemplification of the "second shift" phenomenon: women work full time 9-5 (either outside of the home, or within it raising their children) and then are STILL expected to do the majority (or all) of the housework. I argued that any man who feels like that is stuck back in the past, and his views need to change. Just because a wife stays home doesn't mean she's not doing anything! Anyway, here is a portion of the comment I received:

Also-think about the effect hiring a maid could have on the children.
Simply being able to buy your way out of a problem doesn't seem like a good lesson to teach your children. It wouldn't be like taking a car into a shop; it would be more comparable to hiring a personal driver. A constant excuse to avoid doing work you're capable of doing, even when time consuming (though, the work he speaks of in the column seems like it requires more self control than work... Hanging things up in the closet, cleaning up "diaper mines". Simple cleanliness isn't that demanding).

Now, I love comments sent to my blog, so keep them coming, even if they don't agree with my views! But the issue I have with this comment is that it somehow still assumes that housework is WOMEN'S work. She's home, raising her children, which is a full time job. No, she doesn't receive compensation for it, but that doesn't make it any less valuable! If she "worked" outside of the home 40 or 50 hours a week, would it THEN be ok to hire a maid (since her husband apparently doesn't think it's any of his responsibility to help run the household)? Why is staying home and raising your children--which is an incredibly noble career, despite its lack of pay--somehow STILL viewed as simply "sitting home and doing nothing"? If she was working 50 hours a week as a CEO, I highly doubt that her husband (or anyone else) would expect her to do all the housework. As a mother, she's working just as much, if not more. If she's any type of mother, I highly doubt she is just sitting around, doing nothing. She's probably, you know, doing that oh-so-important stuff like reading to her kids, etc. (Yes, I realized he said she always found time to watch her favorite shows, but what does that mean? She has maybe two favorite shows, so an hour a week is spent watching them? And while I don't remember the part about basic cleanliness, I DO agree with the commenter that basic cleanliness and sanitation is not that hard.)

Anyway, like I said in my original post, I see nothing wrong with the person who stays home to perhaps do more of the housework, simply by virtue of being there more. But this man's sense of entitlement about what should or should not be done in the house, simply based on the marriage partner's gender, is ludicrous and steeped in outdated stereotypes.