Women in TV

The other night, I was watching a rerun of Friends (I admit, I never really got into this show at all; I was watching it solely because there was nothing else on). It was supposed to be a "what if" episode; what if Phoebe was a successful business woman, etc. What bothered me is that Monica's storyline was, "What if Monica was an obese 30-year-old virgin?"

This irritated me at MANY levels. First of all, why is it that the "fat girl" is the virgin? What, nobody would want her because she weighs more than 120? Why wasn't Phoebe the "successful, business-oriented 30-year old virgin"? Why does a person's weight have to correspond to their sexual attractiveness?

And just as I hate it when women are objectified just because they are thin, young and beautiful (think Playboy; blech), it irritates me just as much when women who weigh more than the cultural ideal are mocked and made fun of. It wasn't like Monica was obese but still beautiful, sexy, etc. Nope, she had dowdy hair, an annoying voice, hideous clothes and was constantly stuffing her face with food. So all of these traits are common in obese people? Wow; who knew? /sarcasm. No wonder women have body issues and constantly feel the need to weigh a certain amount; who on earth would want to be the obese woman that television constantly portrays? What about showing a larger woman who IS beautiful, well-dressed, desirable? Trust me, there are plenty of them!

And finally, what's this big obsession with a woman's virginity? That has to define her? She's not a 30-year-old New Yorker who works as a chef (I think? I told you; I don't know Friends). Nope, she's a 30-year-old obese [defining a woman by her appearance] virgin [defining her by her sexual status]. Why would this even be an issue? Is this really how we categorize women?

Don't get me wrong; I think there is nothing wrong with waiting until you find the right guy to lose your virginity; I waited until I met my future husband, and I am so glad I did. I, personally, am a firm believer in waiting until you're in a committed, monogamous, loving relationship to have sex (and this standard applies to both sexes; not just women). So if the fictional Monica hadn't found the right guy yet, who cares? That's really supposed crucial to the storyline? Why do we have to define a woman by her virginal status (or lack thereof)? This is just another manifestation of the Madonna/whore complex that plagues so many women today. You're seen as prissy/undesirable if you're a virgin, and you're a "slut" if you have sex. Gee, that's a great way to define women, isn't it? Yet our society does, and it's no wonder, since we see it perpetuated on TV constantly. When is that going to change?